Tired of Ted

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

May All Your Holiday Wishes Come True

And if not, there is always next year.

Here is a link to an awesome SNL video short that is becoming quite popular on the internet. It is called "The Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia." In case you haven't seen it, it is hysterical. If you have, here is an article about its genesis. More humorous stuff from the people that did the video can be found here.
More funny stuff: the book, "Bar Mitzvah Disco: The Music May Have Stopped, but the Party's Never Over," which chronicles the evolution of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah- the traditional write of passage into adulthood for Jewish boys and girls. This book had me doubled over with laughter with its depiction of the cheesy reflective photos, excess receptions, and classic '80s and '90s fashion trends, and brought back some memories of my own experiences, including the Bar/Bat Mitzvah outfit that my older sister put together for me: pleated bugle boy khakis, pink button-down shirt, thin black leather tie, silver blazer, and black penny loafers. I will try to dig up a photo.

It's been a whirlwind holiday season, with a little bit of shlepping around to various holiday dinners, seeing friends and family, and eating way too much. I've started a third book, so I am now in the middle of three different books. Although two of the books are a collection of essays, so it's nice to be able to just pick up wherever. The most recent book I've started is a collection of essays by the humorist David Rakoff, entitled "Don't Get too Comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never-Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems." The first essay, which discusses the author's experience becoming a U.S. citizen (he's originally from our friendly neighbor north of the border) is a riot. Given that he decided to become a citizen for fear of being deported by the current U.S. president, you can guess where this is going. Very funny so far.

Finally, I would just like to call your attention to what might be one of the coolest cars I've ever seen. The Bugatti Veyron is the fastest and most expensive production car ever made. It has 1001 hp, goes 0-60 in 2.5 seconds, has a top speed of 254 miles, which makes for a fuel economy, at top speed, of 12 minutes. That's right- if you were to drive top speed, you would run out of gas in 12 minutes. All this can be yours for just $1.2 million. Here is a link to the NY Times review.
That's it for now. I hope everyone is having a happy, warm and safe holiday season, whatever holiday you celebrate.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Quick Update

Been out of pocket for past few days- busy with holiday stuff. However, I am working on a "Most/Best" list. So stay tuned.
For now- Happy Holidays.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Amusing Links for my Blog

Thanks to NBK.

For you cat lovers out there.

A unique version of the bible

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Back From Barbados

And I can't get back there soon enough. Despite a rough beginning (the airline lost one of our bags and it didn't arrive for two full days), we ended up having a fantastic vacation. Now, I never fancied myself much of a beach person, but I decided to try and make it happen anyway, packing enough reading material to survive being in a bomb shelter for a month. Of course, I barely dented it. There was so much to do on the island, and we tried to take advantage of as much as we could. At first, we weren't sure how we were going to get around - we hadn't rented a car for fear of the English way of driving, and it would've been impractical and too expensive to just take taxis everywhere. But then we discovered the buses. In Barbados, there are two types of buses: the government owned bus, which runs on a schedule (albeit once an hour), has a licensed and uniformed driver, and a machine to drop your $1.50 Barbados ($0.75 USD). They are big buses, and they run on a set route. Waiting at our bus stop, there would be smaller buses going by every so often, and we weren't quite sure what to make of them. Until the day we decided to brave the unknown. We step up into the bus, and there is no uniformed driver, and there is no machine. We take a seat, and about 30 seconds later, the hip-hop music started blasting from the speakers. It was around 3pm, and there were several school children on the bus, all of whom were nodding there heads to the beat and mouthing the words- something along the lines of marijuana, and avoiding STDs. I'm not joking. So we took in the atmosphere, almost feeling like a local, perhaps figuring that a schoolbus had picked us up as a favor. There was a man on the bus designated to collect the fare, and it was the same as the government bus. It was a fun and interesting bus ride to say the least. Later, we found out that there are two bus "systems". The government-run system, and the privately-owned system. We frequented the latter many many times, and it was always an adventure, with music playing almost everytime, and wonderful, helpful people that told the bus driver where we wanted to go if he didn't know it, and more often than not stopping the bus for us exactly where we needed to be, as opposed to the bus stop. So once we figured out the bus system, we were golden. In fact, the Concierge at our hotel labeled us 'Bajan' (which is a term for Barbadian), she was so enamored with our adventurousness.
So, needless to say, we had a very busy week, filled with exploring, eating, drinking, soaking up Bajan culture, touring Rum factories (and of course sampling the finished product), snorkeling, sailing, tubing and kayaking. For anyone looking for a caribbean vacation on an island that has the right mix of things to do and beaches to rest on, I think Barbados is it. I would probably rent a car though- the bus system is fun, and it'll get you where you need to go, but it takes about twice as long, and there is no guarantee you'll get back to where you came from.
The food on the island was terrific. We sampled very fancy, exotic caribbean cuisine, and we had very simple fish shack cuisine. To me, having a variety of choices to eat is also important, and again, Barbados fits the bill. You can also fly there directly from where we live, which is another bonus.
I did manage to find some time to read though, and want to mention two books specifically that I started, but have not yet finished. The first, compliments of MH & RH, is a book about some of the world's most famous chefs retelling culinary disasters that they've experienced. It's called "Don't Try This At Home: Culinary Disasters from the World's Greatest Chefs." The stories vary from having the main course of a 2500-plate meal go bad and having to scramble to find replacement food, to the story of a young cook who had been going through electro-therapy to repair nerve damage to his arm who is miraculously cured when he electrocutes himself. The stories are interesting and funny, and if you're into food and chefs (and really, who isn't?) then you will certainly enjoy this book. The other book I started is a memoir about a young man growing up in England and developing his hunger and affinity for food. It is called "Toast," by Nigel Slater. And it is written very well, with great wit and humour. I'm still reading about the early part of his life, but his memories are warm, heartfelt and hilarious.
I also manged to dig into a couple of New Yorkers, and read two fascinating articles. Unfortunately, the New Yorker doesn't archive their articles, so I can't link to them. The first article is about Matthew Carter- one of the preeminent typeface designers today. He designed Verdana for Microsoft, among other things. The article traces his life as an apprentice in a very old school typeface shop (where they use methods no longer in existence) to his success today. It was really quite interesting.
The second article involves a case in Pennsylvania where the school board tried to introduce "intelligent design" into the biology curriculum of the public schools, a few teachers sued the school, and the trial apparently is being overseen by a very witty, humourous and fair judge. The article was laced with many of the judge's quips, but also paints a frightening picture: the transition of 'creationism' to 'intelligent design' as the latter masks any religious connotations, and the fact that you can see how proponents of creationism are learning from their defeats to narrow down the appropriate angle to wedge creationism into biology curriculums. Unfortunately (for them- fortunately for the rest of us), the school board members were so blatant in their advocay of creationism from a religious standpoint (one advocate was quoted as saying, "Two thousand years ago, someone died on a cross. Can't someone take a stand for Him?"). I mean, reading the article, it is really upsetting to see what is happening with this issue. Thankfully, the creationism advocates painted themselves as religious zealots that it is likely the judge will rule in favor of disallowing intelligent design to be introduced. However, someone, somewhere, is going to find a way to wedge it in. In an update, the Judge just announced that it is unconstitutional to even mention intelligent design in biology class.
I've been feeling very philosophical recently, and I think I can trace it back to the U2 concert I saw for my 30th birthday, and the stunning NY Times Magazine profile of Bono. The man will change the world. I'm convinced. Visiting Barbados, where people are happy and carefree even though most of them pretty much have the shirt on their backs and not much else, really put some things into perspective for me. Material needs and wants, conspicuous consumption, vanity. Also, attending the concert and seeing the efforts being made to fight poverty and disease is also enlightening. I am convinced that I can be doing better things for this world. I'm just not sure how.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Memories of the Greatest Cookie in the World

But first, an explanation. The biggest obstacle for me in starting a blog was what to call it. I really don't think of myself as a creative and witty person, and so I was very unsure of what I would call my blog. I thought it should reflect me and my interests somewhat, and so my first go 'round was "SoulChef". Believe it or not, SoulChef as an address was already taken. We won't get into the fact that the most recent (and only) posting on SoulChef's blog was from August 2004. So I chose Tired of Ted. Here is the story: a number of years ago, my sister was visiting Alaska in the summer. There is a Senator in Alaska named Ted Stevens. Well, he was up for re-election that year, and a gentleman with the same name as me, which rhymes with Ted, was running against him, and he had bumper stickers made that said "Tired of Ted? Vote for (insert name that rhymes with Ted here)", which my sister graciously peeled off of a lamppost and mailed to me. Needless to say it promptly went on to my 1988 Honda Accord hatchback with 180K miles on it, and thus a story was born. So I decided to name the blog "Tired of Ted".
Now that we've dispatched with the formalities, we move on to the Greatest Cookie in the World. Mallomars. 70% of Mallomars are sold in the NY area, and so I believe they are mostly a Northeastern, or perhaps even just a NY, thing. They are fantastic! And they're only available in late fall through early spring. Now, apparently they can keep chocolate from melting in Saudi Arabia, so there is no reason why Mallomars shouldn't be available year-round. A primer on Mallomars- they are essentially a thin cookie with a marshmallow on the thin cookie, covered in chocolate. They are delish. They are, dare I say, gorgeous. They also conjure up memories of growing up in a household that often did not have sweets in it. We did have one of those yellow, smiley-face cookie jars, but it was always filled with pretzels. However, once in a while, we would get Mallomars. They were my mother's absolute favorite. The only dessert she would really allow herself to indulge in. I mention this because of a wonderful article in the NY Times recently talking about how seasonal Mallomars, why they are seasonal, but most importantly, what a fantastic cookie they are. Upon discovering this article, I emailed it to my father, who instantly recalled similar memories. My mother would never share them with him, my father told me, but would not hesitate to share them with me or my sister. A testament to her love for us, he said.
It's dumping big fat snowballs onto the Northeast here, making for treacherous travel. Thankfully, I am off tomorrow to spend a week in the Caribbean.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

I vow to use this Blog for Good!

Wachovia. Turns out it's the Latin form of the German name Wachau. The Wachau is a well known Austrian valley with a landscape of high visual quality formed by the Danube River. (Thanks to reference.com for this information). It can also loosely be translated as 'rip someone off'. Running errands at lunch today, I needed stamps. I decide to go to the post office, which is right next door to a Wachovia. Wachovia happens to be the bank that I use, and I needed some money, so I used the ATM. While using the ATM, I discovered that you can purchase stamps from Wachovia via their ATM. So I decide to go ahead and buy 18 stamps, at a price, according to the screen, of $7.40. Who can do such math so quickly? I just assumed that 18 stamps at $0.37/each cost $7.40. Out come the stamps, and there, on the stamp book cover, right under the big U.S. flag, is $6.66. That's right- Wachovia charged me 74 cents more than what the stamps cost...perhaps for convenience? Now, I feel like a stooge, as I was right next door to a post office. Literally 10 yards away. But who would've thought that you would pay 4 cents more per stamp? Not me. So be forewarned- if you need stamps and you're at an ATM, it'll cost you.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Built-in Support (and I ain't talking about panty hose)


I've taken the plunge. With my toe. A small parcel of real estate in cyberspace. It may not be manifest destiny, but I'll take it. I've joined the many with a blog. If it weren't for so many of the people I know having one of these and that they will hopefully include this in their links (hence the built-in support), and for my fabulous girlfriend (you know who she is), I wouldn't have done this.
It's a few days after my 30th birthday, and I'm watching quite possibly the craziest cat in the world beat the crap out of a tunnel. We call it the cat cave. You really need to see it to believe it. Is this really what blogging is about? Well, whatever.
Goodness, the pressure of a blog. I could be philosophical, or I can just muse. Why decide now? In any event. Here is a photo that I would like to share, which became the reason I decided to blog. Despite attending a State University, I think it's pretty clear that I am genius- at least according to this photo.
This was done in an Apple store, and let me tell you, I could've spent all day there just fiddling around with iSight and the different photo options it offers. It was the beginning of a fantastic day which included a great Star Wars experience and Italian comfort food with three of the most wonderful people I know. All of whom I've only technically known for a short time but in reality feel like lifelong friends. The evening culminated in a spectacular show by U2, a band you can really get behind. Visit www.one.org to help fight the war against poverty.

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